xAcidicCanine's avatar

xAcidicCanine

Chillin' like a villain
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Some of the groups I am admin on x)

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So, this... May be the wrong way to do this, but honestly, I have reached a point where I don't give a fuck about it. Lately DeviantART has been making me SO mad, and it's not the site itselt, but users on the site that seems to trigger this. I don't know what's worse, if it's the fact that it's people I actually care and worry about that causes this, or what it is.

Let me tell you how this is. I am sick, tired and just plain DONE with being ignored by everyone.
If I've commissioned you over a half year ago and paid you already, at least you could tell me how far you are withit, rather than brush it off or ignore me. I understand if you're busy and that you have a life outside of dA, so that's not all that's ticking me off here, but that you can post art for groups and respond actively to comments on your artwork and journals when others comment, see, that ticks me off.

I've been keeping my cool and tried to be patient. There's at least 3 people that I've commissioned MONTHS ago, and none of them are posting progress or telling me how far they are, or telling me if they're even done.

Honestly, if you wanna give up on it, hand me back the points or money that I paid, cause everything else would count as a scam.

But again, the commission issue isn't the only thing. Peace be with it, if you're just slow because you're busy. I mean, sure, I'd still LOVE to see and know about the progress of the art that I've ordered, if you can't even show a sketch or linework after SO long, I think it's time I've had my points/money back.

But another thing that ticks me off, and pisses me off even more, is that people generally just ignore me. It doesn't matter who the fuck I'm writing to, I am ignored. Know that I watch ove rmy comments and the comments around it, to see which other there's replied to each comment (it's an obsession of mine. Deal with it.) and when I SEE you answering OTHERS but ignoring ME, that pisses me off.

Whether you're a friend or not, it makes me angry at you, and I guess to some point makes me angry at myself too, cause, I must've done something to deserve being ignored right, but you could at least tell me WHAT. rather than just.. Fucking.. Brushing... Me... Off. Like I'm just some annoying dumbfuck that's not worth your time.


IF IT WASN'T BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT OF WATCHERS THAT I HAVE ON THIS DEAD BEAT RIDICULOUS SITE, I'D FUCKING DITCH IT AND EVERYONE ON IT. CAUSE I AM SO DONE AND TIRED WITH THIS.

Sure! I am not the most active deviant myself, I KNOW that. But if I get a comment or note that has a question in it, that I know is not just for fun (besides, some people has my number, they can text me if they're worried that I'm mad at them or forgotten them or something), I fucking answer it. Regardless of how my anxiety screams at me or how bad I feel or whatever. I. answer.

I don't just IGNORE people, and I sure as hell don't ignore them out of the blue, and if I do, it's because THEY did something, and then they need to realize and ask themselves what they did and try to make up for it. Harsh as it may sound.

So guys, what have I done to you guys since you dislike me enough to not wanna answer me?

Bros~
:iconverowolfthegreenfang::iconshadowmagpie::iconsparkanine::iconserphire::icondindellathedefender::iconvelkss::iconvovscurial::icondropkiick::icong00mybear::icondarkbroodingvillain::iconzintah::iconlokithedemon::iconluwkie::iconzayl-sc::iconechey::iconcarelessdemonwolf:
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I want to quit.

8 min read
Links

Groups:
Some of the groups I am admin on x)

:iconwild-and-regal:
:iconflocks-of-the-calaan:
:iconjezelot-central:


I have reached a point where I am just tired.
I don't have the energy or motivation for anything.

Nothing seems important to me anymore.
I feel like I wanna just sit down and cry, but then I remember that that's not gonna change anything.
It's not gonna make me feel better.
I'ts not gonna change how people see me.
It's not gonna do anything at all except make me look stupid and weak.

So I am not gonna.
I can't endure watching people happy, though.
Like, I'm so jealous at them but at the same time I don't care. Like, I want to be happy, but remembers that I do not deserve it.

I am too tired to cook
too hungry to sleep
too depressed to think
and basically just...

I can't do anything anymore.
I'm tired.
I just wanna sleep.
I just wanna close my eyes, and, not open them again.


I am tired of waiting for commissions to be finished
I am tired of being ignored
i am tired of not being good enough or perfect enough for anyone
I am tired of being scammed by everyone
I am tired of being stuck like this.

I just. want. to. quit.

Bros~
:iconverowolfthegreenfang::iconshadowmagpie::iconsparkanine::iconserphire::icondindellathedefender::iconvelkss::iconvovscurial::icondropkiick::icong00mybear::icondarkbroodingvillain::iconzintah::iconlokithedemon::iconluwkie::iconzayl-sc::iconechey::iconcarelessdemonwolf:

Update~

7 min read
Links

Groups:
Some of the groups I am admin on x)

:iconwild-and-regal:
:iconflocks-of-the-calaan:
:iconjezelot-central:


SO I am still kinda sick. ugh.

ANYWHO.
I got around to do some arts and update my profile.

Also decided, once again, to get a new sona. HOWEVER, going in a completely different direction this time, alright?
you see, my new sona, is a raven. Corvus Corax. (Common raven)

Because yay ravens
and according to a personality I took once, a raven could totally fit me. though, such could magpie and a boar and bla bla bla, also, but I decided on the raven instead.
I don't really care what you guys think.


Just thought I wanted to let ya all know about my little update.
Will post my sona's ref later.

Bros~
:iconverowolfthegreenfang::iconshadowmagpie::iconsparkanine::iconserphire::icondindellathedefender::iconvelkss::iconvovscurial::icondropkiick::icong00mybear::icondarkbroodingvillain::iconzintah::iconlokithedemon::iconluwkie::iconzayl-sc::iconechey::iconcarelessdemonwolf:

BIRDS

8 min read
Links

Groups:
Some of the groups I am admin on x)

:iconwild-and-regal:
:iconflocks-of-the-calaan:
:iconjezelot-central:


My quails are temporarily at my paents place.
I got their Budgies and their three canaries.

So 5 birds at my place, plus the 2 birds at my parents place. That's. 7 birds. x)

birds birds birds.
Planning on getting them all tamed c: could totally have them fly around inside the appartment then. C:

still need new names for the three canaries though.
It's two males and one female

the budgies are named Angel and Zico.
Angel however has a damaged wing and I am gonna have to find someone to put him down for me, and then I will have to be getting a new one.
He's not.. In pain like, he's not whining or anything, but he DOES look a bit depressed/sad. So I figure having him out down is the best for him.

But I can't do it myself.
ANYWHO.
ALSO.

Gonna get myself somezebra finchs too.

Bros~
:iconverowolfthegreenfang::iconshadowmagpie::iconsparkanine::iconserphire::icondindellathedefender::iconvelkss::iconvovscurial::icondropkiick::icong00mybear::icondarkbroodingvillain::iconzintah::iconlokithedemon::iconluwkie::iconzayl-sc::iconechey::iconcarelessdemonwolf:

UPDATE

8 min read
Links

Groups:
Some of the groups I am admin on x)

:iconwild-and-regal:
:iconflocks-of-the-calaan:
:iconjezelot-central:


SOOO.. Sorry for disappearing.

I was in the middle of moving.
Now I'm in my new appartment.

First thing I do is unpack steak knives and accidentally cutting my thumb.

Now I can't drive and I don't have cash to take the bus and the school is too far away for me to be able to walk or take the bike there.
So I am gonna have to take a day or two off, until my finger stops hurting and the injury has healed up a little.

FURTHERMORE
i can't post art because my work computer is not connected to the internet.
Woohoo

ANYWHO.
Despite damagin my hand AND not being able to work or post anything, I am settled into my new home and snuff as a bug!
it is amazing having my own place, even if it's small ^_^

it's still bigger than the previous place AND get this
:iconjullend: is gonna visit me this month! It will be amazing and it's something I look forward to.

ALSO, this is the last month that I am paying for my phone! After this month, I've paid ALL the money I had to, for my phone! that means more money to buy things for myself!

I am also gonna get more birds this month.

November will be allright.

Though I do need to keep tabs on my quails, since they think it's super fun to fly up and bang their heads on the top of the cage so they bleed. ._.'
the female looks so.. She doesn't look very good as she's lost some feathers on top of her head AND is bleeding every now and then. Goddamnit Maddie.

Anywho. Sleep tight!

Bros~
:iconverowolfthegreenfang::iconshadowmagpie::iconsparkanine::iconserphire::icondindellathedefender::iconvelkss::iconvovscurial::icondropkiick::icong00mybear::icondarkbroodingvillain::iconzintah::iconlokithedemon::iconluwkie::iconzayl-sc::iconechey::iconcarelessdemonwolf:
Featured

Breaking Point (READ.) by xAcidicCanine, journal

I want to quit. by xAcidicCanine, journal

Update~ by xAcidicCanine, journal

BIRDS by xAcidicCanine, journal

UPDATE by xAcidicCanine, journal